Just a bit more…

I wish I knew then,
how apart we’d be now.
I wish I held on a bit longer,
I wish you let go less sooner.

I wish I could go back to the last kiss,
and kiss you deeper, kiss you better.
I wish I could rewrite our last chapter,
and add more paragraphs to it.
I wish the world stopped at the moment,
when we hugged for the last time.
I wish, I wish…I wish.

I wish the memory of
your smell lingered for longer,
the sense of your body on mine
dissipated slower.
I wish our fights lengthened,
and shortened the silences.
I wish we noticed sooner,
the indifference as it crept into us.
I wish I noticed sooner,
the absence in your presence.

My tears hardened
long before they escaped my eyes,
my heart stopped beating
long before you stopped caring.
My skin stiffened at your touch,
long before you entered the room.
You stopped being mine,
long before I claimed you,
and long before we crumbled,
we turned into ash.

I wish you were here,
yet I wished you away from myself.
I’m sick of wishing now,
I hadn’t wished a life without you then.
I wish I didn’t wish so much,
I wish, I wish…I wish.

I wish I knew then,
how apart we’d be now.
I wish I let go a bit sooner,
I wish you held on a bit shorter.