“the beginning that was the end…”

I wrote this poem for a College assignment, making it my first poem, at the time, that I actually liked!

THE BEGINNING THAT WAS THE END…

The world came crashing down, looking at me with a frown.

Everything was falling into a dark, endless abyss, as I watched on, helpless.

I shivered with the burning cold of the night. Hell! I was scared, I confess.

Swirls of mist were closing in around me, obscuring, concealing what I couldn’t see.

My heart was cold, like a cube of ice. But I couldn’t calm down my emotions & they burnt like a cup of boiling tea.

Oh! The misery, the depression, the darkness…everything was turning into a big mess.

Something died, was it me? But, how strange…I just couldn’t seem to care less.

I cried with joy, I laughed out of sheer misery, how much worse could life be?

I fell into a world where I was neither blind nor deaf & dumb, & yet I was all the three.

The beauty of the horror gripped my very soul, like a child would a bowl.

I wanted to run till there was no destination, just the endless roads. But, all I could do was stroll.

****

I was poisoned with hatred & with love. I wanted to fly & I couldn’t squeeze out of my cove.

Who were you to come into my life & turn it inside out? You baited me like you would a trout.

I was bursting from within, trembling with energy & now, I can’t even shout!

How terrible is this phase, this world filled with sane passions that border on frenzied craze.

You fill me with desire…with repulsion, with criticism…with praise.

I’m a master, now I am a slave; I am scared when I am brave.

For happiness I crave & for sadness. For hatred I crave & it is also for love that I crave.

You could have burnt me & the fire you could have fanned…you could have killed me with the strength of your hand.

You could have driven a stake through my heart…you could have packed my throat with sand.

In a chamber of ice, you could have made me sit…you could have simply poisoned me, you git!

But you chose instead to keep me alive, so you could kill me bit-by-bit…

 ****

Here I am…dead to the world, dead to myself, dead to you & yet my heart beats

For you & forever, for only you…

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